Monday, 20 June 2005

The Wrong Road Perhaps

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it long as I can be left here to linger in silence
If I choose to would you try to understand
Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
The mold that clings like desperation
Oh mother (father) don't you see I've got
To live my life the way I feel is right for me,
Say it's not right for you
But it's right for me

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it long
as I can be left here to linger in silence
If I chose to would you try to understand

- Bethany Joy Lenz "Elsewhere" (One Tree Hill)

Since I entered Uni, I have wondered many times if I had made the wrong choice in not attempting to dance in the 'real world' straight after UWC. What am I studying now? Art and Literature mainly. This ridiculous major is my back up plan. What kind of back up plan is it? My main question is whether it will get me a job after I graduate? A job that is good enough to allow me some time AND money to continue my passion. --> I find myself laughing because this hope of mine is just too good to be true. It's absurd. A job with money and time?! (so that it can be used to pursue something else?!)
A few weeks ago, my mum, for the first time, acknowledged the possibility that my parents may have made the wrong choice in sending me to Uni instead of encouraging me to pursue dance. I love and trust my parents, and i hope to God that they haven't made the wrong choice. Sometimes I do wonder what I am doing every single day when I want to be doing something else ya know? But I am sure I am not alone when I say that, so this aint me feeling sorry for myself. This is actually just me trying to get stuff sorted in my head. As the time gets nearer to graduation (i mean, if all goes well, it's NEXT YEAR!) i get excited and terribly frightened at the same time. There are two things I want to do basically, and one of them is Dance, so I will work my ass off now, and get a degree with good grades or something, and get money so i can dance before my bones rot!
Thanks for being a part of my clearing-my- head process. Now I shall go watch Wimbledon cause that's nice and random. Love!

1 comment:

  1. hey i can understand what you are saying. i could tell you had so much passion in dance but hey, if you are not where you are now, you might not have met all the great friends you have made right? good luck with everything!

    haha am i the only one who leaves comments? =)